Lot of nothing to report from me...

Now my pets are like family. I could no more leave them behind then leave my daughter. But in extreme circumstances like this, I should not judge…I would have just took off in the car with all my babies. God bless all of the people who were there in Alabama, Florida, Lousiana and Mississippi.


I do not understand how people can just leave their animals…I mean look, they even moved the dolphins!

A worker from the Gulfport Oceanarium checks on the well-being of two dolphins in the swimming pool at a hotel while the eye of Hurricane Katrina passes near Gulfport, Mississippi August 29, 2005. Hurricane Katrina ripped into the U.S. Gulf Coast on Monday, stranding people on rooftops as it pummeled the historic jazz city New Orleans with 100 mph (160 kph) winds and swamped Mississippi resort towns and lowlands with a crushing surge of seawater. REUTERS/Frank Polich


Good for this guy...he WENT BACK for his dogie! = )

Not a thing new here. I have been watching CNN & Fox News non stop. The little one thinks a hurricane is a black hole. I DO NOT know where that came from but I have told her no more than once it is not. For ALL 21 years that I lived in Florida, I only had to deal with one hurricane. It was a catagory 1. Nothing compared to the wind that Katrina brought! I can't even imagine how bad that was.

8 more days until school starts!!! She can't wait and neither can I! A Natalie Imbruglia song was on the radio the other day the song "Wrong Impression." So later in the day I hear Maxine singing it, EXCEPT instead of singing "I didn't want to leave you with the wrong impression..." Maxine is singing..."I didn't want to leave you with a bad infection..." AT. THE. TOP. OF. HER. LUNGS. OUT. FRONT. I'm sure she was singing it for a while too. I wonder how many neighbors heard...HAHAHAHAHA

Add Katrina To The List.

God Bless everyone who is having to deal with this hurricane. All I have been doing is watching on the weather channel this morning. I am engrossed in it. I gotta go to work!

This is something I think everyone should watch. There is nothing I can say to make it sound anybetter than it is. Wonderful stuff I think. Click here to see it --> The interview

I Have A Headache TTTHHHHIIIIIISSSSSSSS Big...

<-This is me this morning, well, THIS morning actually if anyone had dared to even try and wake me...IF I had been asleep all friging night!!!!!!

I feel like a coyote ate me up and shit me over a cliff. Sinus problems. Well more like allergies. My head feels like it weighs 20 pounds and I hurt all over from not being able to sleep...Bitch, bitch, bitch. I know.

Approximately Only One Hundred And Twenty Days Left Before The Night Before The Christmas Headache Begins…

I can’t frigging believe that in exactly four months it is going to be Christmas…So that means in three months there will only be 24 more shopping days until we have to deal with this…yeah…I can’t wait…I better start
my shopping now. I have to wait for all of the damn school things too, over priced wrapping paper, icky candy, and schoolastic books...THAT I do like. I am a fool for books.

I think I will go to the dollar store for ALL OF MY FAMILY this year! Man, they will make out! I will spend more on wrapping then actual gifts. I wonder what I can get my sister...hmm. I am kidding. IT is really horrible when your step sister buys a better gift for your mom than you do. ONLY because she can afford it though! I think she is perfect now...Christmas she is Martha Stewart wrapped up in the pretty Italian chick on the cooking network! I. am. not. kidding. either. But speaking of the dollar store, I once, for fun, asked some one in the store how much something was and they told me "EVERYTHING IS A DOLLAR LADY" Now, like yawning is contagious, it is also contagious when you ask the price of something in a dollar store. All of a sudden the masses want to know how much things are and the sales people start to get angry. But it is fun to watch. Next time you are in there, ask someone working there how much whatever you want is. Then listen...The dollar store can be a blast. Maxine will be busy for hours wanting one of everything and I am usually just there for tissue paper or whatever else I see while I am waiting for my daughter to finish with her selection of crap. I guess this is how I am teaching her to shop. Well, at least she is happy with the little things!

GOOD LORD...I THINK ONLY MODELS LOOK LIKE THIS WHEN PREGNANT. I looked like a house! But of course, my sister was tiny. It looked like she swallowed a basketball, but she [my sister] could be the poster-child for early intervention for Aneroxia. Nice picture for the baby though. "And here is a picture of Mommy when you were in her belly...it was so pretty that they decided to put us on the cover." Yup, I am a bit jealous. Maxine will look at a picture of me pregnant with her and probably ask what happened to her twin.

I read this on yahoo news yesterday. I guess I am going to have to look forward to this myself soon. It is really hard trying to explain to kids early on that sometimes things really suck.

He arrived 10 minutes before his fate, so Filip Olsson stood outside Severna Park High School and waited for coaches to post the cut list for the boys' soccer team.
Olsson, a sophomore, wanted desperately to make the junior varsity, but he also wanted justification for a long list of sacrifices. His family had rearranged a trip to Sweden so he could participate in a preparatory soccer camp; he'd crawled out of bed at 5:30 a.m. for two weeks of camp and tryouts and forced down Raisin Bran; he'd sweated off five pounds and pulled his hamstring.
Finally, a coach walked by holding a list, and Olsson followed him into the high school. He walked back out two minutes later, his hands shoved deep into his pockets and his eyes locked on the ground.
"It felt," he said later, "like a punch in the stomach."

I didn’t make the track team. I wasn’t really dissappointed though. I only wanted to do it because my sister ran track and ANYTHING she did, I wanted to do. She was on the diving team, I went out and got on the diving team. Anyway, it also said in this story that it was really hard for the coaches to have to cut kids. I just hope I can explain to Maxine that some things just are not meant to be and that when one door closes, another one opens. I HATED hearing that. But, it was true. I have a plaque in my kitchen that my Mom bought for me and it says “If At First You Don’t Succeed, Do It Like Your Mother Told You To.” It is SO true.

Maxine has been driving me crazy lately. I feel awful for saying such a thing but it is true. It isn’t like I can just put my shoes on and tell her, as I walk out the door, “I need an hour.” Because it is just me!!! My girlfriend says “Maxine is up your ass all the time” So, it is my fault because I have always been RIGHT THERE for her. I feel guilty Her newest thing to say is “Sorry Mom” I look at her and she looks back at me like you-know-I-have-to-say-it-at-least-two-thousand-times-a-day-or-I-can’t-function. I. CAN’T. WAIT. FOR. SCHOL. TO. START. Bring on the homework! I won’t hear that she has had a boring day. Walk a mile in MY shoes at work honey, then we will discuss boring!

I Thought I Should Pass This On...

I will be the fool outside at night looking for this, thinking that I see it when I will really only be looking at a star...Then I will try to wake my daughter to see it and she will NOT. BE. WOKEN. UP. She is not happy when you disturb her slumber!



Mars The Red Planet is about to be spectacular! This month and next, Earth is catching up with Mars in an encounter that will culminate in the closest approach between the two planets in recorded history. The next time Mars may come this close is in 2287.
Due to the way Jupiter's gravity tugs on Mars and perturbs its orbit, astronomers can only be certain that Mars has not come this close to Earth in the Last 5,000 years, but it may be as long as 60,000 years before it happens again.
The encounter will culminate on August 27th when Mars comes to within 34,649,589 miles of Earth and will be (next to the moon) the brightest object in the night sky.
It will attain a magnitude of -2.9and will appear 25.11 arc seconds wide. At a modest 75-power magnification Mars will look as large as the full moon to the naked eye.
Mars will be easy to spot. At the beginning of August it will rise in the east at 10 p.m. and reach its azimuth at about 3 a.m. By the end of August when the two planets are closest, Mars will rise at nightfall and reach its highest point in the sky at 12:30a.m.
That's pretty convenient to see something that no human being has seen in recorded history.
So, mark your calendar atthe beginning of August to see Mars grow progressively brighter and brighter throughout the month. Share this with your children and grandchildren.NO ONE ALIVE TODAY WILL EVER SEE THIS AGAIN

Its Just Another One Of Those Days...

I watch television on Sunday nights. ABC imparticular. From 7 to 11. I cry every time I watch the make over show and I REALLY cried when I saw the one below. Now, what the heck is going on??? They are suing ABC for building the people that they lived with a home AND giving them cars too? Good Lord. WHAT NEXT?


LOS ANGELES - Five orphaned siblings who received gifts and a new dream home on the hit ABC television show "Extreme Makeover, Home Edition" are suing the network, the company that built the house and the couple who took them in after their parents died.

The lawsuit is rooted in a falling out between the children — who range in age from 15 to 22 — and the couple, Phil and Loki Leomiti. The children ultimately moved out of the Leomitis' home in Santa Fe Springs, a small city southeast of Los Angeles, and are living separately with friends, said Charles Higgins II, the eldest sibling.
Their complaint, which was filed Wednesday, alleges fraud and breach of contract.
"What we're really seeing is the collision between reality TV and the perception reality TV seeks to create in the minds of the general public," said Patrick Mesisca, the Higginses' lawyer.
ABC said it does not comment on litigation and referred queries to the production companies.
The network, however, said in a statement that "It is important to note that the episode was about the rebuilding of the Leomiti family's existing home to accommodate the inclusion of the five Higgins siblings, whom the Leomitis had invited into their lives following the death of their parents."
People who answered the phone at the Leomitis' home initially said the couple had no comment and later referred questions to ABC and to Endemol USA, the television show's production company.
Endemol publicist Melissa Armstrong said the company had not yet reviewed the claim.
The parents of the Higgins children died 10 weeks apart in the spring of 2004 — the mother of breast cancer and the father of heart failure. The Leomitis, who knew the children from church, took them in to their home in July 2004, according to the lawsuit.
Producers of "Extreme Makeover" learned of the children's plight from a television newscast.
Workers demolished the Leomitis' house in February. Pardee Homes replaced it with a 9-bedroom mansion, and show producers arranged for the siblings to receive cars, groceries, computers, stereos, and other gifts.
Pardee paid off the mortgage on the new house but the Leomitis retained the title, according to the lawsuit.
But around the time that the episode first aired in late March, the Higginses moved out. Their lawsuit alleges that the Leomitis engaged in "an orchestrated campaign" to drive them away by insulting them and treating them poorly.
"We were promised a home," said Charles Higgins II. "They broke that promise."
Mesisca, the attorney, acknowledged Wednesday that the siblings were never promised a house in writing. But the network's statements and actions could legally be considered a promise, he said.The suit seeks unspecified compensatory and punitive damages.



And is Ty the cutest thing or what???
Does anyone besides me talk to them selves? I have been told that only if you answer are you crazy. If that is true, I have been psycho crazy for some time now. The number one conversation I have with myself is…”ARE YOU CRAZY?” Usually asked AFTER I have done something horrifically stupid…I asked myself that today after telling someone something that I should have said a while ago, and now this person is pissed. Well if she is sober enough to remember the conversation tomorrow…Oh well.

YESTERDAY WAS MY WEDDING ANNIVERSARY!!! From 1993…But, I have NEVER been married. It was the day I was supposed to get married. But he couldn’t stop dating and it just didn’t pan out. So now it is the anniversary of my “supposed to be” anniversary. Or much easier, it is the day my sister moved back to St. Louis. I helped pack and she made me laugh all day.

Picture below is ME RIGHT NOW...PISSED.

Depends's New Ad..."Even Stars Need Them!"

Okay, I have heard of people sneezing and peeing, but SINGING and peeing? Man, THAT'S GOTTA SUCK! Found this here.

Let The Riots Begin

The picture above is of the newest team member of the Los Angeles Kings hockey team.Yutaka Fukufuji. THAT. IS. HIS. NAME. Can you hear the hockey croud in LA shouting his name now…Fuck-You-Fuji…Good Lord, change that boys name for heavens sake!


Okay, so I am not 50 yet but I knew these before I was 50…Just so everyone else can enjoy these and maybe learn…here they are.

16 THINGS THAT IT TOOK ME OVER 50 YEARS TO LEARN:by Dave Barry, Nationally Syndicated Columnist
1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings."
3. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."
4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.
5. You should not confuse your career with your life.
6. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance. (I wish I had!)
7. Never lick a steak knife.
8. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.
9. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.
10. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.
11. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age 21.
12. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.
13. A person, who is nice to you, but rude to a waiter, is not a nice person. (This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails.)
14. Your friends love you anyway.
15. Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark, and a large group of professionals built the Titanic.
16. Men are like fine wine.. They start out as grapes, and it's up to the women to stomp the crap out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.
FINAL THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2030, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.

I never thought of that whole breast implant thing. Man, I will be in the old folks home STILL being jealous that my breasts are not as perky as the other ladies!!!

"It's A Dog Eat Dog World, And I Am Wearing Milkbone Underwear

The fair was a blast! Except for the fact I fell up some stairs on my way up to a ride and almost broke my finger! It is black and blue with a big cut. WHO the heck besides me falls UP stairs??? I am a klutz! I can trip over lint. My daughter is afraid of all of the rides…I have no idea where she gets that because e the higher the faster-the BETTER! I have always loved that stuff! We took the neighbor and she went on all of the fun slide things with Max, and then she went on all of the upside down things with me! THEN, my mom went on one upside down ride with me-I couldn’t believe it, she just said “I want to go on that now…” I took off at top speed and RAN to get tickets before she changed her mind. She was scared when it started going and was screaming and had her eyes shut the whole time! I laughed! She said never again. As I think of it now, if the ride would have broken while we were on it and she and I died…my sister would have to raise my daughter…that would be okay because she and her kids are afraid of the rides too-now, mind you, when she and I were kids, we couldn’t wait to go on all of the crazy rides. I do not know why she is afraid now. I doubt my kid will ever get over her fear of the rides…and that sucks because I will be the old lady on the rides! I will go on with her kids when/if she has them when the fair is in town, then again, Six Flags is right up the road too…My shoulders hurt too from being slung around upside down! Oh and fair food…I had fried dough, Italian sausage sandwich with onions & peppers, and a bag of cotton candy. Why doesn’t cotton candy come on a stick anymore? It was only in bags yesterday. I used to like watching them make it while you waited…not at this fair! I didn’t get a candy apple because the apples are soft and I like firm apples, especially living her in upstate NY!Wait a second; I am talking about my BABY having BABIES! What the heck? I act like I am very cool with it. I make jokes about sex and Good Lord! I can’t imagine some young boy trying to get into my daughter’s pants! The thought is HORRIFING to me! WHAT AM I GOING TO DO??? I can’t think about it now.


One of these things, is not like the other...[insert Sesame Street theme] Question, when filing things does anyone else still sing the alphabet song? I find that when I am putting files back I will have to break out that song when there are too many KEN---'S. I bet it is just me. Will someone pay for my therapy???? Please, I might really need it...IF I jump on the bandwagon of "it is all of my parents fault that I am a screw up" maybe they make them pay? I can't stand that. Pull yourself up by the boot straps and GET. ON. WITH. YOUR. LIFE. DAMNIT!



I just dig both of these pictures...No reason for them being here...well, except the dogs are cute-and they are great shots from the photographers!

Another Day, Somemore Things To Worry About!

Penis envy? No, I just envy that I CAN'T pee outside without being naked! But, not really, I am glad that my "private part" isn't an appendage. It is just there...WHY DO I EVEN THINK THIS STUFF?

I got my period yesterday afternoon…and now this morning…NOTHING. WTF? I guess I am going to have to go to the doctor. Just lovely.

I was shoving watermelon rind down the disposal yesterday and it made me wonder why I test the limits of the disposal. I wonder if my hand will get sucked in there and I lose some digits. Does anyone else do this? I mean I am not putting them in there I am just shoving what needs to be in there, in there! Why am I still thinking of this? I don’t know. My mind works in mysterious ways-or scary ways should I say!

This is really cute. Letters to God from kids. From a beer loaded pissing picture to this. I am not right.

1. Dear God, please put another holiday between Christmas and Easter. There is nothing good in there now. Amanda
2. Dear God, Thank you for the baby brother but what I asked for was a puppy. I never asked for anything before. You can look it up. Madison
3. Dear Mr.God, I wish you would not make it so easy for people to come apart. I had to have 3 stitches and a shot. Sarah
4. God, I read the bible. What does beget mean? Nobody will tell me. Love Alison
5. Dear God, how did you know you were God? Who told you? Tyler
6. Dear God, is it true my father won't get in Heaven if he uses his golf words in the house? Alissa
7. Dear God, I bet it's very hard for you to love all of everybody in the whole world. There are only 4 people in our family and I can never do it. Dylan
8. Dear God, I like the story about Noah the best of all of them. You really made up some good ones. I like walking on water, too. Glenn
9. Dear God, my Grandpa says you were around when he was a little boy. How far back do you go? Love, Dennis
10. Dear God, do you draw the lines around the countries? If you don't, who does? Nathan
11. Dear God, did you mean for giraffes to look like that or was it an accident? Matthew
12. Dear God, in bible times, did they really talk that fancy? Jennifer
13. Dear God, how come you did all those miracles in the old days and don't do any now? Billy
14. Dear God, please send Dennis Clark to a different summer camp this year. Peter
15. Dear God, maybe Cain and Abel would not kill each other so much if they each had their own rooms. It works out OK with me and my brother. Joshua
16. Dear God, I keep waiting for spring, but it never did come yet. What's up? Don't forget. Mark
17. Dear God, my brother told me about how you are born but it just doesn't sound right. What do you say? Nicole
18. Dear God, if you watch in Church on Sunday I will show you my new shoes. Brittany
19. Dear God, is Reverend Coe a friend of yours, or do you just know him through the business? Donny
20. Dear God, I do not think anybody could be a better God than you. Well, I just want you to know that. I am not just saying that because you are already God. Jake
21. Dear God, it is great the way you always get the stars in the right place. Why can't you do that with the moon? Jeff
22. Dear God, I am doing the best I can. Really !!!! Michael
23. Dear God, I didn't think orange went with purple until I saw the sunset you made on Tuesday night. That was really cool. Thomas

Anyone up for a good scam???

Okay, so what is up with these idiots and their old scam to get people to send them money so that they can get money…all a big lie that people used to believe, but what I WANT TO KNOW is how in the hell they have my last name??? It is NO WHERE on my Yahoo account…I am a bit perplexed and a lot pissed!
First there is this guy who is writing to me on someone request because only one family member was left in a farm burning or something and all I need to do is send him my personal information and he will contact me so we can split the profits…Sir, my favorite color is NOT clear and I do not drive a *Ford “Latley”*…

MR.David Zuma JOHANNESBURG, SOUTH AFRICA.PHONE:+27 73 372 9633
Next we have this guy who knows my last name. There is not a Steve Matthews in my family-
Dear Matthews, STRICTLY CONFIDENTIALI crave your indulgence as I contact you in such a surprising manner and I want you to bear in mind that this is not a hoax mail But I respectfully insist you read this mail carefully as I am optimistic it will open door for unimaginable financial reward for both of us I am Barrister ADAMS SHUTTLER ,the personal attorney to late ENGR. STEVE MATTHEWS, a foreigner an oil merchant/Contractor,herein shall be refered as my client. On the 29 January 2002, my client, his wife and their three children were involved in a ghastly bomb explosion that took place at Ikeja military cantonement, unfortunately, all of them lost their lives.
Blah, Blah Blah, and then this:
PLEASE CONTACT ME ONLY THROUGH MY DIRECT EMAIL: adams_shuttler2000@yahoo.co.uk IMMEDIATELY YOU READ THIS MAIL. Thanks and God Bless Barrister Adams Shuttler (Esq)

Give me a break already! I think I shall email Barrister Adams and let him know what an ass sucker he is for even sending stuff like this out-or maybe I could get his phone number and then I shall TELL him with my voice what a piece of shit I think he is for trying to scam people. I will call at 3am his time. I wonder if he would answer? I am sure he would hang up once he started getting harassed by me. Then there is that whole long distance call I don’t want to make…What is weird is that it ended up in my inbox and not my bulk mail. Oh well.

*Car & Driver had an article in the letters to the editor and it made Rusty & I laugh for months. A guy wrote in and wanted to know when they [car & driver] were going to have a picture of the new Ford Lately that he kept hearing about in commercials. Anyone remember the commercials "Have you driven a Ford, Lately...?" As in Have-you-been-driving-a-Ford-vehicle. N-O-T as in Hey-you-have-you-driven-one--of-the-new-Ford-latelys? Too Funny.

Make The Pounding Stop...

My head is still aching from this weekend. I will leave that for another post. So all I have for today is this. -->
I have heard most of these before, but they are all still pretty funny.

ROMANCE MATHEMATICS
Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

OFFICE ARITHMETIC
Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

SHOPPING MATH
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.

GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

HAPPINESS
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

LONGEVITY
Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.

PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.

DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

"Too The Moon Alice!"

Check THIS out!

Well, that was easy, check Dad off of the Christmas list.

Oh and who the heck really has the money to pay for this? And if you do...will you lend me the money to go??? One Hundred Million. Holy Moly!

I WANNA GO!

Who Lives In A Pineapple Under The Sea?

I love Yellow! This cartoon sometimes makes me laugh.

My friend sent this little e mail thing and I thought it was cute.

But I was Charlie Brown...Not SpongBob. I had 37 pts...

Everyone has a personality of a cartoon character. Have you ever asked yourself what cartoon character do you most resemble? A group of investigators got together and analyzed the personalities of well known and modern cartoon characters. The information that was gathered was made into this test:
Answer all the questions with what describes you best, add up all your points (which are next to the answer that you choose) at the end and look for your results. Do not cheat by looking at the end of the email before you are done.
1 Which one of the following describes the perfect date?
a) Candlelight dinner (4 pts.)
b) Fun/Theme Park (2 pts.)
c) Painting in the park (5 pts.)
d) Rock concert (1 pt.)
e) Going to the movies (3 pts.)

2 What is your favorite type of music?
a) Rock and Roll (2 pts.)
b) Alternative (1 pt.)
c) Soft Rock (4 pts.)
d) Country (5 pts.)
e) Pop (3 pts.)

3 What type of movies do you prefer?
a) Comedy (2 pts.)
b) Horror (1 pt.)
c) Musical (3 pts.)
d) Romance (4 pts.)
e) Documentary (5 pts.)

4 Which one of these occupations would you choose if you only could choose one of these?
a) Waiter (4 pts.)
b) Professional Sports Player (5 pts.)
c) Teacher (3 pts.)
d) Police (2 pts.)
e) Cashier (1 pt.)

5 What do you do with your spare time?
a) Exercise (5 pts.)
b) Read (4 pts.)
c) Watch television (2 pts.)
d) Listen to music (1 pt.)
e) Sleep (3 pts.)

6 Which one of the following colors do you like best?
a) Yellow (1 pt.)
b) White (5 pts.)
c) Sky Blue (3 pts.)
d) Dark Blue (2 pts.)
e) Red (4 pts.)

7 What do you prefer to eat right now?
a) Snow (3 pts.)
b) Pizza (2 pts.)
c) Sushi (1 pt.)
d) Pasta (4pts.)
e) Salad (5 pts.)

8 What is your favorite holiday?
a) Halloween (1 pt.)
b) Christmas (3 pts.)
c) New Year (2 pts.)
d) Valentine's Day (4 pts.)
e) Thanksgiving (5 pts.)

9 If you could go to one of these places which one would it be?
a) Paris (4 pts)
b) Spain (5 pts.)
c) Las Vegas (1 pt.)
d) Hawaii (4 pts.)
e) Hollywood (3 pts.)

10 With which of the following would you prefer to spend time with?
a) Someone Smart (5 pts.)
b) Someone attractive (2 pts.)
c) Someone who likes to Party (1 pt.)
d) Someone who always has fun (3 pts.)
e) Someone very sentimental (4 pts.)

Now add up your points and find out the answer you have been waiting for! Put your character in the subject line and forward to your friends and back to the person that sent this to you. Very interesting to see "who" your friends are!
(10-16 points) You are Garfield: You are very comfortable, easy going, and you definitely know how to have fun but sometimes you take it to an extreme. You always know what you are doing and you are always in control of your life. Others may not see things as you do, but that doesn't mean that you always have to do what is right. Try to remember your happy spirit may hurt you or others.
(17-23 points) You are Snoopy: You are fun, you are very cool and popular You always know what's in and you never are out of style. You are good at knowing how to satisfy everyone else. You have probably disappeared for a few days more than once but you always come home with the family values that you learned. Being married and having children are important to you, but only after you have had your share of fun times.
(24-28 points) You are Elmo: You have lots of friends and you are also popular, always willing to give advice and help out a person in need. You are very optimistic and you always see the bright side of things. Some good advice: try not to be too much of a dreamer, if not you will have many conflicts with life.
(29-35 points) You are Sponge Bob Square Pants: You are the classic person that everyone loves. You are the best friend that anyone could ever have and never want to lose.You never cause harm to anyone and they would never not understand your feelings. Life is a journey, it's funny and calm for the most part. Stay away from traitors and jealous people, then you will be stress free.
(36-43 points) You are Charlie Brown: You are tender, you fall in love quickly but you are also very serious about all relationships. You are a family person. You call your mom every Sunday. You have many friends and may occasionally forget a few Birthdays. Don't let your passion confuse you with reality.
(44-50 points) You are Dexter: You are smart and definitely a thinker.. Every situation is fronted with a plan. You have a brilliant mind. You demonstrate very strong family principles. Maintain a stable routine but never ignore a bad situation when it comes.

"Oh Yeah, Well Pppppppppppp To You Too KID!"

Ain't that Momma bear cute?
I am wondering if there is really something wrong with me. I keep thinking I will go on WebMD to see what they have to say about this nonsense. But if I do, I think I will really freak myself out. I guess I will just keep telling myself that not having a period for 3 months now is just me going through the change…ugh. Maybe I do have cancer. Maybe I have something terribly wrong with me. I now think that I have obessive complusive dissorder from all of my thingking about it!

So last night I was wondering to myself, Holy cow, WHAT HAVE I MISSED OUT ON??? I feel like latley I am missing something from my life and I have no clue what it is. But, missing something that I don’t know what it is starting to make me effing crazy! [ I am trying to stop with the foul mouth.] Does this even make sense? N.O.P.E. Maybe I have a tumor that is pushing on my rational thinking nerve, yeah, that sounds about right-but then I have had it for YEARS!

My only sister, She is a vegitarian. She is 5’7” and last know weight [as of Saturday] is 99 pounds. Yes, Ninty-Nine pounds. I think she needs to eat a Big. Fat. Steak. Or a pork chop-or fried chicken even. I am beginning to think that my sister doesn’t like to snack in between missing meals. No, I am joking, she is just too damn thin. She jokes around with people about how she has to keep up her anorexic figure. She had always been thin-but now everything she eats gives her heartburn and she won’t take medicine because THAT is gonna kill her…I am worried. Not that anything anyone says will make her take medicine-I am just worried about her.

I kind of suck at understanding my computer latley. I think I need to get Linux because Microsoft is pissing me off. My dads license plate says “Linux” I know people who are sitting behind him at a light are reading his plate and wondering what the hell is Linux??? Is that his last name? Or they are sounding it out like it is an anagram like OU812 or ALWAYSL8…But, Linux is NOT an anagram it is a softwear program…Now the computer guys that get caught behind my dad are thinking HA HA HA-wish I’d have done that…But nope, MY DAD IS THE MAN! Just ask me…He is THE origional computer nerd-well after Bill Gates I suppose, but Bill Gates kinda stole it from Steve Jobs from Apple… Oh just watch the gods of Silicone Valley-that tells the whole story. Oh and please don’t get me wrong I LOVE the pc nerds! Geek squad , Nerds Online all of them ROCK! I am just saying my dad is the MAN when it comes to all of that…oh and HI DAD if you are reading this and sorry about all of the sex and stuff-I know you didn’t really EVER need to know any of it. I know it must be "vulgar" to you too like it is to You Know Who...

I am really posting off the wall this morning...I am not making sense. Not that I ever do anyway!! = )

What's Wrong With This Picture?

This is usually my drink of choice. Diet Coke or Diet Pepsi with Lime. Thanks for the joke Dad!

HOLY CRAP! I emailed the band Default the other month and this morning in my inbox the drummer Danny Craig emailed me back!!!!! He wrote that they DO answers all of their own emails!!! I am going to email him everyday now!!! Just call me by my new nickname…STALKER!

Concert wasn’t so bad the other night. The girls had fun. Maxine could scream at the top of her lungs and not get yelled at. I think she liked that best of all. She tried the same scream in the car on the way home-I almost put us in a ditch. The screaming girls were the loudest I have ever heard-louder than the concert at times. Really kind of scary! LOTS of guys at this show too, kind of surprised me! The people watching…man THAT was hilarious! I am pretty inconspicuous so people don’t see me-they see PAST me and it was certainly funny to see how young teenagers act today. I feel as if I am old, even though I am not-I know I don't act my age anyway! Sometimes I feel as if I missed a lot because I was stupid in my 20’s. I was busy being “In love” with a guy who didn’t give a crap about me-then I was with the asshole sperm donor. In your 30’s we are supposed to be smarter and grow up. I don’t want to! I am wiser and a mom but WHY does that mean I have to act like an adult ALL. THE. TIME? Sometimes I want to be young again and do it all over and know what I know now! But, I would want to do it over back in the 80’s-NOT now. [insert 1985 by Bowling For Soup]But PLEASE Lord, when my daughter is old enough to want to go to a concert, don’t let it be that trashy, sleeze bag, nutty ass, Kabala loving, French kissing Madonna on live television, brat, Britney Spears. P-L-E-A-S-EEEEEE NOOOOO! I. WILL. NOT. TAKE. HER!

Look what Jennifer Aniston has to say about her soon to be ex…
Also discussed in the interview, the photo shoot in W magazine that featured Pitt and Jolie playing house. Aniston says that while she thinks Pitt might have "a sensitivity chip that's missing" for taking part in the session, Aniston says her former beau "is not mean-spirited; he would never intentionally try to rub something in my face." Adds Aniston: "I love Brad; I really love him. I will love him for the rest of my life. He's a fantastic man. I really do hope that someday we can be friends again." That said, she manages to get in a final zinger about Pitt's new bleach-blond hairdo, saying " Billy Idol called, he wants his look back."

Go Jen! I really like her! Screw Brad-I would do Jen now before I would do Brad and I don’t sleep with girls!!! [kidding-I would NOT do either one of them]

Funny Thing My Kid Said…
[Further information into this story. Maxine can get car sick so I carry airplane barf bags and a BIG coffee can in case of emergency because we tried out of the window trick once and she just let it all come right back in her face…THAT WAS NOT PRETTY!]
Me-watching Peter Jennings Special on ABC news last night and commercial was on for Foldgers Coffee, in walks Maxine to see what I am watching.
Maxine [Looking at TV {insert her excited voice}]-“Hey Mom-LOOK, there is my throw up thing on TV!!!”Guess you had to be there…

Good Night, Peter...He Was Great...

My Medal~My Daughter's Medal~LOTS Of People Should Have This Medal

Weren't They All In Rehab???

Here is the new baby...
As a favor to the neighbor, I am taking her 13 year old daughter and my 6 year old to the Backstreet Boys concert at Six Flags tonight…oh Lord help me. She bought the tickets for all three of us to go yesterday when I told her I could take her. She is always taking Maxine places for no reason and she is a cool person and can’t go because her Alpaca just had a baby! That is why she asked me to take her. Three tickets? THAT had to be some serious change! Maxine is so excited-but than ask her who there are and she says, “I don’t know. I am just SO excited to go!” I have earplugs for her because I am sure it will be loud. Then I have some for me also-with all of that synthesizers and crap that they use…I am sure to have a wicked headache! I am NOT. ABOUT. THE. BOY. BANDS. Yeah, I confess to watching Making The Band-but that was a long time ago! Anyway…Lord, please let them have fun and me not bleed from my eyeballs AND ears tonight. Amen.

"And Last Year At Band Camp..."

So I have not really written anything in a while-I have not been myself since the dog has gone and no period still. This week has just hit me like a train. I am guessing again that it is “the change” that is making me not feel so funny.
School supplies-oh how I love shopping for school supplies! I have a thing for nice pens. I used to write in a journal for Maxine but I lost them all in Florida. But I had a friend who worked at a medical center and she always gave me one of the pens that the drug reps would give her and I have taken some from various doctors I have visited. I asked if I could take them first though! I bet I have 50 different ones. Then I have some other silly pens and nice pens. The most I spent for a pen was 8.00, I thought it was like the 1.99 one I bought that ran out of ink and I couldn’t replace-but it was just a sheep in wolves clothing. I am better off woth the 1.99 ones. The one I dig at the moment is a Mike’s Hard Lemonade pen-a free gift with purchase! It is BRIGHT yellow. It writes soooo smoothly! Anyway-school supplies. It is a pretty easy list since it is only first grade! But we shall be doing the shopping this weekend. Then there are clothes to buy. I will be doing that nearer to the start of school because she grows like a weed! I buy her pants and two months later they can be capris!
So how about that plane crash huh? My mom works for the airlines (Continental to be exact) and they were diverting some of Toronto’s flights to the Buffalo airport. Lucky for mom, she had the night off! That is awesome that they all made it off! Mom used to be a flight attendant for American. She told me last night that you don’t even think when that happens-you know what to do and say and you have 90 seconds to get the plane clear. YIKES! 90 seconds to get 297 passengers out? Plus all 12 crew members? Job well done Air France crew!

Here is my funny for the day-and it is not from Maxine...It is from Dad-Thanks Dad, you send the best jokes!
This equation should be taught in all math classes!
From a strictly mathematical viewpoint it goes like this:
What Makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder
about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been
to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about
achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life?
Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these
questions:
If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.
Then:
H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%
And
K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%
But,
A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%
And,
B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%
AND, look how far ass kissing will take you.
K-I-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%
So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that While Hard work and
Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, it's theBullshit and Ass kissing that will put you over the top.

HA HA...

Happy August First & Monday Morning...

This is me, still not PMS-ing.