Friday, August 19, 2005

Let The Riots Begin


The picture above is of the newest team member of the Los Angeles Kings hockey team.Yutaka Fukufuji. THAT. IS. HIS. NAME. Can you hear the hockey croud in LA shouting his name now…Fuck-You-Fuji…Good Lord, change that boys name for heavens sake!


Okay, so I am not 50 yet but I knew these before I was 50…Just so everyone else can enjoy these and maybe learn…here they are.

16 THINGS THAT IT TOOK ME OVER 50 YEARS TO LEARN:by Dave Barry, Nationally Syndicated Columnist
1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings."
3. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."
4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.
5. You should not confuse your career with your life.
6. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance. (I wish I had!)
7. Never lick a steak knife.
8. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.
9. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.
10. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.
11. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age 21.
12. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.
13. A person, who is nice to you, but rude to a waiter, is not a nice person. (This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails.)
14. Your friends love you anyway.
15. Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark, and a large group of professionals built the Titanic.
16. Men are like fine wine.. They start out as grapes, and it's up to the women to stomp the crap out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.
FINAL THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2030, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.

I never thought of that whole breast implant thing. Man, I will be in the old folks home STILL being jealous that my breasts are not as perky as the other ladies!!!

3 Comments:

Blogger Nancy said...

Now I just want to go to a Kings game so that I can be part of the fun that ensues.

1:29 AM, August 20, 2005  
Blogger cmhl said...

I bet that will be an extremely high selling jersey. man, poor guy... ha!!

8:24 AM, August 21, 2005  
Blogger worry woman said...

Nancy,
I want to go to, but I am sure I would be laughing my ass off!

M,
CAN YOU IMAGINE??? I didn't even think of that! And what if he is actually a REALLY good player?! WOW!

8:18 PM, August 22, 2005  

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