When does it start...
I really did wonder when it would start…when the monster of my past would rear its ugly head…So one of my questions has been answered…
IT STARTS AT SIX YEARS OLD!!!!!!!!!!
What I am talking about is the threat I received from my mother when I was young and was not being a good young lady…I can still hear it to this day…
I HOPE YOU HAVE FIVE JUST LIKE YOU!!!!!
Her what I used to think “empty” threat has come true today…Here are said events as they unfolded-
Me, “No, Maxine, it needs-“
Max-“NOOOO! Mooommmm, you JUST DON’T UNDERSTAND!!!!!!!!!!”
Me-“Listen, I-“
Max- “Never mind Mom, [insert sigh & eye rolling] you just don’t get it!”
Oh no she didn’t just roll her eyes at me right????? OH YES SHE FRIGGING DID! We had a nice little chat about that let me tell you! The time outs will commence NOW if you ever do that again!!! Yeah, like Super Nanny-I’ve got a “naughty” room!!!!! Oh yeah it is upstairs where she can’t see anyone or do anything and her Raggedy Ann doll is in there and she is SCARED TO DEATH of it!!!! I remind her it is in the closet and if she acts up it will get her before I do! Well, I‘d like to say that but I don’t…I think I will start though!
I can hear her now-[fast foward ten years or so]
Max-“MOOOMMM! You don’t know him like I do, he reeeaaaally loves me!!!”
Me-“I know you think that honey but there will be more guys-“
Max-“YOU DON’T KNOW HOW I FEEL!!!!! YOU JUST DON’T UNDERSTAND…”
Me- [to self-unfortunately I do…and I know that there will be more…and I am gonna pound this little asshole if he hurts you damnit-if I have to I will hire it out!]
“Okay honey-I know you think that-but I do…”
I was never like that to my mom-sure I thought that she didn’t know-and my “artist” that I dated who was 8 years my senior when I was 17-he really did love me-HAHAHAHA-
You know what? SHE WAS SO RIGHT!!!!! She bought a plaque for me that says
“If at first you do not succeed-then do it like your mother told you to…” I live by that now. I am sometimes jealous of people who have boys-they only have one swinging dick to worry about-I have to worry about ALL the swinging dicks since I have a girl-but I wouldn’t change a thing!
IT STARTS AT SIX YEARS OLD!!!!!!!!!!
What I am talking about is the threat I received from my mother when I was young and was not being a good young lady…I can still hear it to this day…
I HOPE YOU HAVE FIVE JUST LIKE YOU!!!!!
Her what I used to think “empty” threat has come true today…Here are said events as they unfolded-
Me, “No, Maxine, it needs-“
Max-“NOOOO! Mooommmm, you JUST DON’T UNDERSTAND!!!!!!!!!!”
Me-“Listen, I-“
Max- “Never mind Mom, [insert sigh & eye rolling] you just don’t get it!”
Oh no she didn’t just roll her eyes at me right????? OH YES SHE FRIGGING DID! We had a nice little chat about that let me tell you! The time outs will commence NOW if you ever do that again!!! Yeah, like Super Nanny-I’ve got a “naughty” room!!!!! Oh yeah it is upstairs where she can’t see anyone or do anything and her Raggedy Ann doll is in there and she is SCARED TO DEATH of it!!!! I remind her it is in the closet and if she acts up it will get her before I do! Well, I‘d like to say that but I don’t…I think I will start though!
I can hear her now-[fast foward ten years or so]
Max-“MOOOMMM! You don’t know him like I do, he reeeaaaally loves me!!!”
Me-“I know you think that honey but there will be more guys-“
Max-“YOU DON’T KNOW HOW I FEEL!!!!! YOU JUST DON’T UNDERSTAND…”
Me- [to self-unfortunately I do…and I know that there will be more…and I am gonna pound this little asshole if he hurts you damnit-if I have to I will hire it out!]
“Okay honey-I know you think that-but I do…”
I was never like that to my mom-sure I thought that she didn’t know-and my “artist” that I dated who was 8 years my senior when I was 17-he really did love me-HAHAHAHA-
You know what? SHE WAS SO RIGHT!!!!! She bought a plaque for me that says
“If at first you do not succeed-then do it like your mother told you to…” I live by that now. I am sometimes jealous of people who have boys-they only have one swinging dick to worry about-I have to worry about ALL the swinging dicks since I have a girl-but I wouldn’t change a thing!
posted by worry woman at Wednesday, July 06, 2005
2 Comments:
That made me laugh. I'm one of five boys in my family, and I can tell you that my Dad sleep's easy only having to worry about the "one swinging dick" per boy. But we do have one sister, so she will be well protected on her first date, which is in exactly 4.5 years, when she turns 16.
Blake
Do you really think she will be able to date ANYONE that you all approve of? That is a catch 22 situation if you ask me! Awsome to have brothers to pound on a guy that breaks your heart-yet will any guys get past the front door since you all know good and well that ALL of his intentions may not be so good? God speed!
Shawn
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