Mars vs. Venus...Mars wins.
Men Are Just Happier People—
What do you expect from such creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack.
You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
One mood all the time. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life. Your belly usually hides your big hips. One wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all seasons. You canwear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can "do" your nails with apocket knife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache. You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25minutes.
No wonder men are happier!
Guys just have it made-there is no two ways about it.
What do you expect from such creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack.
You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
One mood all the time. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life. Your belly usually hides your big hips. One wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all seasons. You canwear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can "do" your nails with apocket knife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache. You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25minutes.
No wonder men are happier!
Guys just have it made-there is no two ways about it.
posted by worry woman at Tuesday, July 12, 2005
4 Comments:
This was a great read. Your observational humor on this one is so funny. And I really dig the new look to your site.
I do wonder what it'd be like to have people staring at my breasts all day long.
Blake
Blake-
I wish I could take credit for this but a friend sent it to me in an email and I just copied and pasted-BUT IT IS SO TRUE!!!!! Guys just frigging have it made.
They don't have to be pregnant for 9-10 months-they just have to deal with our crazy hormones! They don't have to EVER ask anyone if they look fat in pants! If you have to ask-you know you look fat!
Anyway, its not mine-I just STRONGLY agree.
Shawn~
Blake- I forgot, The boob thing-it really sucks when you can see a guy only talking to your breasts-you know he just wants to seperate you from your panties.
I would like to invent a bra that has a little playback device in it that you can push a button when this happens so it will yell at the guy doing it "WE DON'T SPEAK! LOOK AT HER EYES!" That would be funny!
Yeah, and even when we try to not be so obvious I guess we kinda are, right? Oh well. I'm a trained monkey at this point, so not staring is kind of out of the question. But having something that popped out of your shirt that could give us upper cuts to the chin might help.
Blake
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