White Christmas-KISS MY ASS!
Happy Birthday to you MOM!!!
I HATE THE SNOW TODAY!!!!!
I broke off my windshield wiper…I am PISSED! It is snowing and the sun is out…should I look for the rainbow???
I am ALSO pissed about this Tookie Williams on-going bullshit. KILL HIM ALREADY!!! If Arnold gives him a stay of execution…it is only because he doesn’t want to piss off his actor friends AND NOTHING ELSE! We KNOW he is guilty! He NEVER EVEN apologized to the families for murdering their loved ones. (Sigh) Alright, I am off of the soapbox now.
Funny email joke from Dad…HAHAHAHAHA I LOVE this joke!
Subject: Guts or Balls
We've all heard about people having guts or balls. But do you reallyknow the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, the definition for each is listed below...
GUTS - is arriving home late after a night out with the guys,being assaulted by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to ask: "Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?"
BALLS - is coming home late after a night out with the guys, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the ass and having the balls to say: "You're next."
I hope this clears up any confusion on the subject.
Oh and I talked to the guyiloveinflorida. <---Rember this entry?? He told me I had no life anymore, that I was boring, not going anywhere or doing anything except reading and being a mom. He told me to take a chance and get out there and try again or I was going to end up old and alone and even my daughter won’t want to be around me. Gee, I can’t WAIT TO TALK TO HIM AGAIN! Even if he is right…I don’t talk to him enough, you’d think he could blow some sunshine up my ass or something right??? Oh well, I get all giggly when we talk and I can’t stop smiling. Oh well, HE is my entertainment…I just don’t hear form him often enough! I should have told him that. Maybe in 6 months or so…when I hear from him again. Lets hope so. Even if it is for entertainment purposes only-MY ENTERTAINMENT! HAHAHA. A bit selfish aren't I?
I don’t feel my age. Not that I should be broken down because I am only 36. Mentally I don’t feel my age either…I wonder, am I supposed to? Let me explain, these teenage girls came into the office to put a flyer in the window, and they said madam … were they thinking I look old? DO I LOOK OLD? I still get carded once in a while, but I think that the store clerks are just being nice. I used to do that too, but people got mad at me when I did it at 16! But me looking old, that is scaring the crap out of me…I doubt that I would ever have plastic surgery, but maybe it might be an option when I am 60 or so. Goodness, if I even live that long!!!!! (If I am done paying for Max’s college by then! HAHAHA I will try, but I can’t afford ALL of it.)
So the stepbrother left town today. We did the whole present thing on Saturday night. Yeah, whatever, I spent WAY TOO much money on them…They did get Maxine Cranium…THAT’S GONNA BE FUN! I dig board games! I really like the stepbrother…I am not so fond of the wife. She is needy-and that is ALL I AM GOING TO SAY. Except that I hope he doesn’t end up sorry he married her. I really don’t fit in here…I think that people are only nice to me because I am related to my stepbrother and stepsister. They are big shots here in town-they are really good people-don’t get me wrong, I just look like the sad screwed up relative-with a child and no man…But at least I am happy and my baby is happy…I just try to read into things and I should stop, nut I have been this way F-O-R-E-V-E-R, so I doubt it will stop anytime soon.
I have this!!!
Poor-man's Security System
How To Install a Poor-man's Security System:
Go to a second-hand store, buy a pair of men's used work boots a really big pair.
Put them outside your front door on top of a copy of Guns and Ammo magazine.
Put a dog dish beside it. A really big dog dish.
Leave a note on your front door that says something like:
"Bubba, big Mike and I have gone to get more ammunition - back in a hour.
Don't disturb the pitbulls; they've just been de-wormed."
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Question Of The Day…You know the old saying, “There are NO stupid questions?” Well, I can prove that there is THIS one!
Who will update this blog when I am dead???
I HATE THE SNOW TODAY!!!!!
I broke off my windshield wiper…I am PISSED! It is snowing and the sun is out…should I look for the rainbow???
I am ALSO pissed about this Tookie Williams on-going bullshit. KILL HIM ALREADY!!! If Arnold gives him a stay of execution…it is only because he doesn’t want to piss off his actor friends AND NOTHING ELSE! We KNOW he is guilty! He NEVER EVEN apologized to the families for murdering their loved ones. (Sigh) Alright, I am off of the soapbox now.
Funny email joke from Dad…HAHAHAHAHA I LOVE this joke!
Subject: Guts or Balls
We've all heard about people having guts or balls. But do you reallyknow the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, the definition for each is listed below...
GUTS - is arriving home late after a night out with the guys,being assaulted by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to ask: "Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?"
BALLS - is coming home late after a night out with the guys, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the ass and having the balls to say: "You're next."
I hope this clears up any confusion on the subject.
Oh and I talked to the guyiloveinflorida. <---Rember this entry?? He told me I had no life anymore, that I was boring, not going anywhere or doing anything except reading and being a mom. He told me to take a chance and get out there and try again or I was going to end up old and alone and even my daughter won’t want to be around me. Gee, I can’t WAIT TO TALK TO HIM AGAIN! Even if he is right…I don’t talk to him enough, you’d think he could blow some sunshine up my ass or something right??? Oh well, I get all giggly when we talk and I can’t stop smiling. Oh well, HE is my entertainment…I just don’t hear form him often enough! I should have told him that. Maybe in 6 months or so…when I hear from him again. Lets hope so. Even if it is for entertainment purposes only-MY ENTERTAINMENT! HAHAHA. A bit selfish aren't I?
I don’t feel my age. Not that I should be broken down because I am only 36. Mentally I don’t feel my age either…I wonder, am I supposed to? Let me explain, these teenage girls came into the office to put a flyer in the window, and they said madam … were they thinking I look old? DO I LOOK OLD? I still get carded once in a while, but I think that the store clerks are just being nice. I used to do that too, but people got mad at me when I did it at 16! But me looking old, that is scaring the crap out of me…I doubt that I would ever have plastic surgery, but maybe it might be an option when I am 60 or so. Goodness, if I even live that long!!!!! (If I am done paying for Max’s college by then! HAHAHA I will try, but I can’t afford ALL of it.)
So the stepbrother left town today. We did the whole present thing on Saturday night. Yeah, whatever, I spent WAY TOO much money on them…They did get Maxine Cranium…THAT’S GONNA BE FUN! I dig board games! I really like the stepbrother…I am not so fond of the wife. She is needy-and that is ALL I AM GOING TO SAY. Except that I hope he doesn’t end up sorry he married her. I really don’t fit in here…I think that people are only nice to me because I am related to my stepbrother and stepsister. They are big shots here in town-they are really good people-don’t get me wrong, I just look like the sad screwed up relative-with a child and no man…But at least I am happy and my baby is happy…I just try to read into things and I should stop, nut I have been this way F-O-R-E-V-E-R, so I doubt it will stop anytime soon.
I have this!!!
Poor-man's Security System
How To Install a Poor-man's Security System:
Go to a second-hand store, buy a pair of men's used work boots a really big pair.
Put them outside your front door on top of a copy of Guns and Ammo magazine.
Put a dog dish beside it. A really big dog dish.
Leave a note on your front door that says something like:
"Bubba, big Mike and I have gone to get more ammunition - back in a hour.
Don't disturb the pitbulls; they've just been de-wormed."
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Question Of The Day…You know the old saying, “There are NO stupid questions?” Well, I can prove that there is THIS one!
Who will update this blog when I am dead???
posted by worry woman at Monday, December 12, 2005
2 Comments:
To pick this apart bit by bit....LOL
First off, Matt came home the other day and told me that joke and I about pissed my pants. I most definitely think that distinction between guts and balls needs to be in the dictionary.
Guy in Florida...he's a ass. Nothing more needs to be said about that.
I am sure that the girls were trying to be nice...you so don't look 36. Remember, say it with me..."I am 29, I am 29, I...." You'll beilieve it after a while.
The stepfamily...we'll I won't lie. They probably talk about you when you're not around. This is why I refer to my stepmother and my stepmonster. Most steps in the family, well like the guy in Florida, they are usually assses.
Question of the day... not stupid. Make Max take over updating it.
I just think the guts and balls joke is so funny on so many levels, an old boyfriend was SOOO like that! He worked 2nd shift and he would go drinking after and at 4am come home and be loud and wake me up to get some booty...I was so stupid I'd give it to him...he was actually out at these bars picking up other women...
The guy in fl...yup, you are right! He is an ass, if I had him, I bet I wouldn't want him.
And the step family...I really like the step brother! He is a wonderful person. It is his new wife I don't like! She is just a spoiled, selfish, 'I am better than you" kind of person. ggrrrrr
Then the step sister, I am just jealous of her because she is frigging perfect! NO LIE! Everything she does and is-is perfect. I am jealous.
I hate to think they bad mouth me but I know you are right! ugh...
I AM 29, I AM 29, I AM 29, I AM 29...It just might be working! HA HA. I know a lot of the time I only act 19...so...as long as I am laughing right?
HAHAHA!! GREAT ANSWER to the blog question, but she won't ever guess my password to get on to update...
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