It's like cleaning the house before the cleaning ladies get there...
Okay then…it has been another one of those days…it actually started off okay and then just like that BAM!!! It went all out of control…it is nothing big either, just small stupid things that I think of...
It has been years since I have had sex-good or bad I totally DO NOT EVEN REMEMBER the last time I HAD IT so MAYBE THAT IS WHY I am SO frustrated! Just a thought-That I might be sexually frustrated, yeah, probably. My daughter wanted some pop rocks at the store and I thought about how I once gave my boyfriend head with pop rocks-now what NORMAL person would think something like that when their kid asks for candy-well, since you asked, a sexually frustrated one that’s who.
Speaking of sex…the guy I so dig who is in Florida, (name rhymes with hiccup…) emailed me last night! I am so going to call him! -Not. I just melt when he looks at me and he always had to talk to me for something and half of the time I couldn’t stand it! I told him he made me weak in the knees and he didn’t get it…he does now though…we are just friends and I am cool with that because who knows when I will be back in Florida to see him and I doubt that his wife would like to know I have fantasies about her husband…if he is ever divorced-holy shit look out-I will hurt him! I will make him scream out the names of women he hasn’t even met yet!
“Come on baby get your shoes on. You’re looking like you need a rescue-underneath the southern moonlight where only I can find you.”
My “girls” are sunburned…I couldn’t stop scratching them today and let me tell you-it felt good! I was wondering though, if people could see me the front window-were they wondering why I was rubbing my breasts? WHO CARES! I also wore regular underwear today-MISTAKE! Besides the boob scratching-I was fondling myself to pull the underwear out of my ass. Thong underwear are the way to go-they are up there and any old way you turn them will not matter so leave them up there! With regular panties-UGH! I should have just yanked them up my ass too. Well, I did that and it felt like I was being gagged with a bed sheet! -NOT that I would know what that felt like-just the analogy to give you the BIG picture. (As if anyone needed it…)
So, I often ride my bike to work…I am only a mile away so…I mean I live in Buffalo-how hot can it get right-well I have been driving for the past weeks because of the 90 degree weather-anyway, did I not tell you about my perfect step sister? (See entry same old conversation for step sister) Well, the bike I have was going to-then NOT going to be for her, I ended up with it and LOVE it. I have two bikes-the new one-one is my moms that has a HUGE metal basket on the back—(insert music from the Wizard of Oz now and picture the wicked witch “I’ll get you-AND YOUR LITTLE DOG TOO!!!”) So, I have been cruising on the Oz bike because #1-the chain on the new bike was slipping and I have been to lazy to fix it-#2 the baskets carry A LOT of my shit that I need for work such as lunch, purse, late library books, well, perfect stepsister who didn’t want the bike before I was riding it-now wants it-she wants to finally put perfect son on perfect new bike with her newly purchased (or present from friend) baby bike seat and ride into the sunset on a pleasantly perfect day!!! Sure I have two but one is not mine-I thought that the new one was-but I know how women are-minds change like the wind. I guess I will be happy with moms bike…yeah, I am jealous…WHATEVER! It must be the lack of sexual intercourse. Maybe it is just the people who live here. Their shoes and belts and purses ALWAYS match. WHAT is up with THAT? I only own like 3 belts. I have a brown one, and two black ones! One is for dress pants-MIND you black ones only-and the other black one is for whatever I want-same with the brown. I mean the people here have purple, red, orange, light blue, navy blue, GREEN…I am lucky if both of my socks match when I leave the house! Everyone here is ALWAYS perfectly color coordinated from their sandals to their hats! No shit-I wish I had money like that to buy the extras! They walk around with their Coach handbags and Burberry diaper bags that cost hundreds of dollars-their California Closets hold, maintain, and organize all of their wonderful things…again, am I jealous…FUCKING A RIGHT I AM!!! What am I going to do when my daughter wants hundred dollar shoes? DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY SHOES I CAN GET FOR HER FOR A HUNDRED AT PAYLESS OR WALMART????? I can’t think of this anymore…I am about to self-combust…
It has been years since I have had sex-good or bad I totally DO NOT EVEN REMEMBER the last time I HAD IT so MAYBE THAT IS WHY I am SO frustrated! Just a thought-That I might be sexually frustrated, yeah, probably. My daughter wanted some pop rocks at the store and I thought about how I once gave my boyfriend head with pop rocks-now what NORMAL person would think something like that when their kid asks for candy-well, since you asked, a sexually frustrated one that’s who.
Speaking of sex…the guy I so dig who is in Florida, (name rhymes with hiccup…) emailed me last night! I am so going to call him! -Not. I just melt when he looks at me and he always had to talk to me for something and half of the time I couldn’t stand it! I told him he made me weak in the knees and he didn’t get it…he does now though…we are just friends and I am cool with that because who knows when I will be back in Florida to see him and I doubt that his wife would like to know I have fantasies about her husband…if he is ever divorced-holy shit look out-I will hurt him! I will make him scream out the names of women he hasn’t even met yet!
“Come on baby get your shoes on. You’re looking like you need a rescue-underneath the southern moonlight where only I can find you.”
My “girls” are sunburned…I couldn’t stop scratching them today and let me tell you-it felt good! I was wondering though, if people could see me the front window-were they wondering why I was rubbing my breasts? WHO CARES! I also wore regular underwear today-MISTAKE! Besides the boob scratching-I was fondling myself to pull the underwear out of my ass. Thong underwear are the way to go-they are up there and any old way you turn them will not matter so leave them up there! With regular panties-UGH! I should have just yanked them up my ass too. Well, I did that and it felt like I was being gagged with a bed sheet! -NOT that I would know what that felt like-just the analogy to give you the BIG picture. (As if anyone needed it…)
So, I often ride my bike to work…I am only a mile away so…I mean I live in Buffalo-how hot can it get right-well I have been driving for the past weeks because of the 90 degree weather-anyway, did I not tell you about my perfect step sister? (See entry same old conversation for step sister) Well, the bike I have was going to-then NOT going to be for her, I ended up with it and LOVE it. I have two bikes-the new one-one is my moms that has a HUGE metal basket on the back—(insert music from the Wizard of Oz now and picture the wicked witch “I’ll get you-AND YOUR LITTLE DOG TOO!!!”) So, I have been cruising on the Oz bike because #1-the chain on the new bike was slipping and I have been to lazy to fix it-#2 the baskets carry A LOT of my shit that I need for work such as lunch, purse, late library books, well, perfect stepsister who didn’t want the bike before I was riding it-now wants it-she wants to finally put perfect son on perfect new bike with her newly purchased (or present from friend) baby bike seat and ride into the sunset on a pleasantly perfect day!!! Sure I have two but one is not mine-I thought that the new one was-but I know how women are-minds change like the wind. I guess I will be happy with moms bike…yeah, I am jealous…WHATEVER! It must be the lack of sexual intercourse. Maybe it is just the people who live here. Their shoes and belts and purses ALWAYS match. WHAT is up with THAT? I only own like 3 belts. I have a brown one, and two black ones! One is for dress pants-MIND you black ones only-and the other black one is for whatever I want-same with the brown. I mean the people here have purple, red, orange, light blue, navy blue, GREEN…I am lucky if both of my socks match when I leave the house! Everyone here is ALWAYS perfectly color coordinated from their sandals to their hats! No shit-I wish I had money like that to buy the extras! They walk around with their Coach handbags and Burberry diaper bags that cost hundreds of dollars-their California Closets hold, maintain, and organize all of their wonderful things…again, am I jealous…FUCKING A RIGHT I AM!!! What am I going to do when my daughter wants hundred dollar shoes? DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY SHOES I CAN GET FOR HER FOR A HUNDRED AT PAYLESS OR WALMART????? I can’t think of this anymore…I am about to self-combust…
posted by worry woman at Tuesday, June 28, 2005
5 Comments:
I haven't had sex in 24 years (I'm a virgin). This post is amazing on so many levels. I've always wondered about the pop rocks/bj scenario and it is actually out there. I think I'm going to buy my girlfriend an entire box from SAMS.
Men love it when they see women scratching their boobs. Simple truth.
Blake
GOOD FOR YOU!!! That is a rare thing these days and something to be VERY proud of!
Yeah-pop rocks-NOT A MYTH! Sticky though...
Boobs...yes men do dig boobs. I guess one could say I am "fortunate" in that area...but it can be a real pain trying to buy cute tops because your boobs don't fit! I have to say though that if I didn't have them-I probably would have purchased some...weird huh?
I no longer hide when I scratch my boobs. If I am confronted about the situation...my simple reply "I make milk, what's your super power?" Usually they are so thrown off that there is no reply and they no longer watch me scratch my boobs.
And the cute tops are not made for those of use that have mammaries larger than the average girl. I really love it when I buy a cute top and stand sideways so that all can see my boobs through the button holes...personal fave of mine.
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Awsome idea Nancy-thanks! WHAT a comeback too! =) Saw a tee shirt once that said "Stop staring and grow your own!" I thought that was funny!
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